Over 12 million people experience domestic abuse every year. I am that 1 in 12 million.
Globally, every ten minutes a woman or girl is unalived by a loved one. May 2025, my aunt Irene Myra Williams was a victim of a homicide crime at the hands of her intimate partner.
I am a victim by happenstance.
I am a survivor by chance then by choice.
I feel a sense of duty to showcase advocacy by turning pain into bravery. No longer the message but pain is the vessel where my newly found courageous heart will continue to graciously uplift and allow my aunt Irene Myra Williams vivacious spirit to continuously be felt.
Its “auntie girl”, you nincompoop! *DJ Drama voice* Because the grandmother who raised you would call those who lacked knowledge, “nincompoops” by way of jokingly insulting them using language of her day. Now the play on the endearing term “auntie girl” is how she addressed two out of three of her nieces when we were always reunited with her in person or during a warm, amped, loving phone call. What I would give to hear her say, “is that that auntie girl” once again. While out of sight I write about my maternal aunts and the type of scenario their personality would be best suited for. Even on days you would be lonuging in the house you would wake up, shower, put on fresh house clothes that matched your full set of manicured nails. Nails equipped with a themed color you planned your outfits to match vibrantly with design. Next, cooking your first meal of the day to enjoy. Crown Apple Royale is what you drank the last time you had me over as your big hearted self hosted me. You surprised me with a gift and you were known to do that sort of thing. Always thinking of others, you were truly heartfelt in such a way. That afternoon, that’s what I learned ABOUT you, but in the season nearing your untimely unaliving, I began to think of how there is plenty I have yet to learn FROM you. Although we were robbed of you, you took every opportunity to enjoy life accompanied with your raw and rare qualities. “Auntie girl” it is me baby, your voice echoing clear as the day is long. “Auntie girl” with your cute self and high-pitched voice, again, your vivacious spirit will too live on through the mere tones and pitches of mine and my relatives voices when you are jokingly brought up in conversation. Let’s remember who would be the first to want to go home during family gatherings. I guess now it will be your younger sister (my own mother) who will be the first to want to head home. Man! I really miss you! “Auntie girl” wanna go “mimi A” and never forget me not of your “OH MY LAND”. Your quotables don’t even count as quotables unless you have the matching voice for its delivery. Auntie Pee-Wee for as long as I have breath your memory will of be reminiscences. I love you baby.
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
CALL: 800-799-7233 (SAFE)
TEXT: START to 88788
thehotline.org
Free. Confidential. 24/7
“Because everyone deserves healthy relationships”
Question 1: why do you think its difficult for people to leave abusive relationships?
-They may think it is harder to stand alone after living a integrated life with abuser. Both parties become codependent on each other and ultimately that is the number one reason one side or both sides make excuses, stick around and do not want to leave the harmful relationship.
Question 2: has awareness for domestic violence become intergrated into our culture today versus twenty years ago?
-The awareness is evident because people do know it is going on and more people than not know of at least 1 to 2 people involved in a domestic abusive relationship. However, the compassion is not present along with the awareness and domestic violence happening on any level is a hushed discrepancy.
Question 3: what are the best ways we can support survivors (ally-focused)?
-Encourage survivors to become advocates both silently or loudly because they can be an aid in underground, “ear to the streets” resources and support. Also, facilitate safe spaces where your stories of past trauma can be taken seriously without fumble of (personal) information sharing.
Question 4: Is it possible for abusers to change?
-In my opinion and history is it is not possible for your abuser to change with you and the sole reason behind this stance is because the door for abuse has been opened, lightening has already been struck and both parties are forever changed and unequally yolked after a traumatic event has taken place between two people. Even when apologies are said, tears have been wiped, temporary behaviors have seem to take the forefront, once a new experience has been introduced neither parties can wipe the slate clean without leaving streaks. Just like once you clean a mirror after it has been professionally cleaned, even with proper tools, from exerting the slightest of wipes to rubs full of what we say “elbow grease” is applied, that mirror will not look the same. Just like the nature of a domestic abusive experience would have then changed the entire relationship as a whole, shifting it into a lens you wish you could unsee but you just cant. This is why abusers are not able to change especially while still having access to what they abused.
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